Are memories a good thing or not so good for you?
My husband journals every single day, and he sometimes lets me know what happened 10 years ago on this or that particular day. Sometimes it’s not such a good memory and, to tell you the truth, it makes me mad that he brought it back up! So is that suppose to be a good thing? Then there are memories like this that I wrote six years ago. Yes, it was a dark place for a time.
“May is a weird month for me. I love spring with the beauty that comes with it. The deep breaths that I take to inhale the scents that penetrate through my being It is a month of constant reminders of our God’s great creations. It is a month of beginnings – vacations, VBS, baptisms in the river, swimming, picnics, tubing, weddings and so much more.
And it is a month of sadness. Because of schedules, Scott and I drove separate vehicles to church yesterday. As I was driving, I was talking to God about my son, Corey, “You know, tomorrow is his birthday, would You wrap your arms around him and hug him for me?” Then I thought “WOW! he would have been 39 years old tomorrow, and my brother François would have been 55 last month. That’s when it happened. satan took that word “would” and took me down a road of guilt in an instant. All the ifs crossed my mind. If I had not had that accident, if I had not done this and that they would still be alive. IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT FRANCE! I could feel the heaviness taking control and the tears beginning to blur my vision. I wanted to turn around and go home. I’m so thankful for the journey that I have been on to recognize the enemy’s attacks. Prayer is awesome. We live 10-15 minutes from our church and by the time I got there, my sweet Jesus, had put that snake right back in his place. IT IS NOT MY FAULT! He knows the plans He has for me and I am exactly where I am suppose to be. Now I know why satan didn’t want me there. But as my husband says, that’s a story for another day.
So today is Corey’s birthday. The sun is shining and all is well. Happy birthday son. I love you.”
It also makes me see how much better I am today from the memory I wrote this week. So do I see growth and healing in this?
“Happy Birthday 🎈 my sweet son Corey. You would be 45 today. Wow! Makes me feel old. 👵
Wait, I am old!😂 Time ⏳ passes and has made it more bearable to celebrate your birthday since you left. The wound is healing but the scar is still there as a reminder.
I’ve had a couple of friends join you during the last month or so. I don’t know exactly how things work up there in the heavenly realm, and hope that you’re all celebrating together.
This week is extra special because your sister Shanna’s beautiful daughter, your niece LeAnn, graduates from high school and will be heading off to college. I wish you were here to celebrate with us. I can only imagine the conversations as I wonder and play it out in my head. Shanna is such an amazing mom. I’m sure you two would be reminiscing over the memories of your kids growing up. I see lots of laughter because there certainly have been a lot to laugh about between Shawn and LeAnn. They can be so funny!😂🤪
Even though you won’t be here in person, you will be on my mind and heart as we share this special time with family and friends.
We love you and I’ll see you when I get there. ❤️”
I know that journaling is a good thing. Some people like to go back and relive the past. I believe, for me, that it’s better to not go back. I like to journal and get things out of my system and written down. It really does help and answers can be found. We are all different, that’s the way God created us. I pray that wherever I am in life that I remember my loved ones whom God has taken back and that I continue to live life with the ones He is still letting me enjoy and love.
May you find your peace wherever you may be at this time.