Isn’t it amazing at how quickly things can change? One of the comments that my husband has said in the past is that there is one thing in life that is constant and that is change. Boy do I believe it! Let’s see… How many times have I changed my mind, my clothes, jobs, diets, types of shampoo, cars, homes, churches, hair color, purses…and the list could go on. Some changes have been good and some, well…not so good.
I’ve been on a journey during the past almost four months which has taken me down a road of change which hasn’t been so good. Breaking two bones in my ankle and dislocating it put a total stop to pretty much everything I was doing. No walking, no exercising, no visiting friends, no grocery shopping, no haircut, for a while no shower, just a bird bath, no cooking, no going outside during the day. Basically, I was limited to the living room couch, foot propped up with ice. I am so thankful for the friends who came to visit and for the ones who brought food. My husband took over the cooking and everyday housework and he did the best he could. Some of you out there know what I’m talking about when I say “the best he could”. If you’re like me, yes, kind of a perfectionist to some point, it was not exactly the way that I would have done it. Now don’t go saying things behind my back about me not being appreciative. I really did appreciate all that was done, let’s just say that I had to set myself a boundary to not go in the kitchen.
I have learned that comfort food can be so addictive. Thinking about it now, I realize that comfort is exactly where the enemy wants us, and comfort food, well, it makes us comfortable. It certainly worked for me. Snugged on the couch, reading, alone most of the time, snacks on the side since getting up was limited to bathroom breaks. Oh Lord thank you that I didn’t have to wear Depends, not yet anyway. 😊 I may have been in pain but “feeding” my pain put me in a downward state of mind – the black hole. When satan finds a way in he will take it every time, and then make you feel as though you’re not the person you really are. Does that make sense? This is where prayer is so affective. I was reminded that as long as I was comfortable, the enemy will stop attacking because he thinks he’s got you so why bother with you – move on to the next person.
I will be truly open here. Do you ever feel like a hypocrite? I have and certainly did during the past few months. Here I was talking about health and wellness, about the importance of eating healthy foods, and I was doing the total opposite. Maybe not all the time but most of the time. How can a person have self confidence, be a mentor to others and be in that dark place at the same time – you just can’t do it. Period.
Like I said, when the enemy attacks he attacks hard and doesn’t let go. During this time I lost three dear friends, one from a heart attack and two to cancer. Grieving alone was very draining to me. Not until my mindset changed, and through prayer, did I notice where I was heading. Do I stay where I am or do I choose to move forward? It’s always best to move forward which is sometimes difficult. It was so easy to stay in my little cocoon, away from people, feeling sorry for myself. I am thankful for friends, mentors and business partners who helped me dig my way out. I have been limiting my time from Facebook, which by the way I sometimes call Fakebook, because sometimes what you see and read is really not what is happening in real life and that can take a person even deeper in “the hole”. Feelings of failure, thinking that others are better than you are, etc… You know what I’m talking about. I’ve been there and if you haven’t, well, good for you.
One of the sad things about all of this is that I have not been working my wonderful little business as I needed to. Yes, the income still came in, unfortunately, I haven’t helped as many people as I normally did – health wise and financially. So many great opportunities but I was to busy thinking about me, myself and I.
I thank God for a new day. For letting me wake up in the morning – pain or no pain.
Coming out of “the hole” I was reminded that a while back I told a friend of mine that I got tired of hearing people struggle with being in pain, sick, tired and broke. That no one should have to deal with that, and I had found a way that made a difference with all of those issues and it was such an easy concept. Isn’t it a coincidence that I said that just before I hurt my ankle? Did the enemy not want me to reach out to people? That he put me in a state of mind which made me think that I wasn’t good enough to even continue trying to help someone – anyone?
And it’s not just with my business, it affected my volunteer work at the Redeeming Love Center. My place of refuge, my safe place. Not stepping foot in that place for three and a half months also did something to my spirit. I’m so glad to be back. I sure did miss those ladies. Besides God, they are my rock!
So, today is a new day and I am thankful for the sunshine and for the Son Who Shines!
Have a blessed day.