Why is it that I ask myself so many questions? Or is it that I am questioning myself?
Over the past couple of days, I have had to make some decisions on things that I have said “yes” to. There are bible studies, groups, women’s ministry, then there is life, family, work – you get the drift. So the questions I have been asking myself are – Is this something that God wants me to do? Is this something that I want to do? Is this something that brings me joy? Is this something that I am doing to please someone else? Will I be able to keep up with the work? And the list goes on. Then there were the questions that make me doubt myself even more… are you sure you want to write about this for people to see? What will people think? Are you making this all about you? You know you’re not suppose to make it about you… Auuuggghhhh!!!!
I have learned over the past few years to look up with my questions and to also look deep down in my soul. A lot of what I have done in this wonderful life I live comes from my past. Yes, I know this doesn’t seem to make sense right now but hey – I want people to like me. Doesn’t everyone want people to like them? There’s nothing like that pat on the shoulder by someone who says that I’ve done a great job. But the problem with that is pride can creep in and I have a problem with that, so I’m more of a behind the scene person.
What I have found though, is that when I say yes to many things I begin to not enjoy some of them. So I ask myself this question, would I rather be a 100%er to one or two things or mediocre to lots of things? Then there’s – Am I saying that I’m to busy and don’t have time? Or am I making a choice not to?
Questions can absolutely drive me bananas! I remember a saying which related to the fact that all was well unless I started answering myself. Have I started answering myself? Oh geezzz another question!